just like your daddy....

Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. (2 Corinthians 2:14-15 NKJV)

The short and sweet of it today is very simple...

As we sat listening to the service today, I was struck by something my wife said.  (I would also add that verse 14 above was also part of the message today.). 

My youngest son, Lucas, sat on my lap during the service.  This is a place he often likes to sit...close to daddy.  It was simply one of those enjoyable times I have as a father.  About 5 min before the service ended, he shifted over to his mother's lap.  And in the process told her sweetly that he loved her.  And then Colleen said something that made me stop.  

"You smell like your Daddy."

It hit me powerfully.  It is in spending time with God that we take on His aroma.  Even something as simple as waiting in His presence, we become the fragrance of Christ.  And others become acutely aware that we have been with Him, based on this.  (there is still so much more here, but I did say, "short")

Wow!  Simple and true.  

I want to radiate that aroma, and more so...

...let me be known by my love for spending time with Abba!  "All Your garments are scented with myrrh and aloes and cassia, out of the ivory palaces, by which they have made You glad."         (Psalm 45:8 NKJV)

for Camilla...

Tonight, I looked into the face of a young girl, no older than 16.  

I saw past the layers of makeup and the pump heels.  

I looked into the face of one who was scared...feeling intimidated by the older, more experienced women near her and terrified of the men who eyed her as they would a piece of meat.  I saw past the shy smile and flushed cheeks, knowing that somewhere beneath the frail form, innocence hid away.

And for a moment, I was her father. 

Tonight, I saw her sitting on the floor of her bedroom, playing with dolls and stuffed animals.   I saw her riding a bike, running in the park and dreaming of the man she would one day marry. And with a shy smile she would blush when a boy caught her eye.  Wrapped in safety and innocence, without worry of the future she rested...secure...knowing that all was well because she was loved. 

And for a moment, she was my daughter.

Tonight, I saw a young woman, marked by deep scars of rejection and pain...innocence lost

Ravished by loves and one night stands, she was hardened and dull.  A fake untrusting smile fastened to her face where she used to laugh; real laughs.  All her dreams passed long ago, hiding somewhere behind her hollow eyes.  

And for a moment, I saw the Father

Tonight, I saw life reborn in the eyes of a girl who dared to hope again .  Clean and clothed in righteousness, she was full of peace.  And the Creator of Love came and restored innocence, dreams and destiny to her.  She was renewed in mind, body and spirit.  And with new life, she spoke out clearly of the man Jesus; who loves her and makes all things new.  

And now, she is His daughter

(praying for Camila to find herself...lost in love with Jesus)

...what's in a name?

...and the eyes of the nation are focused on Hurricane Sandy.  "The Storm of the Century"? "The Perfect Storm"?  I don't know what to call it, but I am intrigued by the meaning of the name.  The literal meaning of Sandy or Sandra, comes from Alexander. It means "Defender of the People" or "Defender of Men".

I believe that this Defender has come to wake up or shake awake our nation during a time of major change.  I believe this Sentinel also comes to make an indelible mark in the mind of us as individuals to be aware, to know the times, and to open ourselves up to the one true Soverign!

It is He, the Great "I Am" who is our Defender, our Deliverer.  The One, who's Kingdom is forcefully advancing.

I do not know what tomorrow holds, but I surrender to Him.  And I pray with my brothers and sisters for His Kingdom Come and His Will to be Done!

For those with eyes...let them see

For those with ears...let them hear

For those with hearts ablaze...let us love the One, our Eternal, Everlasting God!

...all of me

"Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him." (1 Kings 19:18)

I have read the passage from 1 Kings many times.  In fact the whole Elijah story;  challenging The Baal prophets, the three year drought, prophecy spoken to Ahab, etc have always captivated me.  

I would have to say that the Revelation from Mt Horeb is pretty awesome too!  God demonstrates mighty acts before Elijah, but reveals himself to Elijah in a quiet whisper....Awesome!  Now for verse 18...

I have been familiar with the 7000 persons that God had preserved in Israel.  I have been aware that these ones had never bowed a knee in idol worship (I have prayed many times to be like one of those ones.), but somehow I managed to read right over the last part of the verse.  It's this last portion that has me captivated "...and all whose mouths have not kissed him." 

I have an immediate understanding of what bowing means both in definition and culturally to the people of that time.  But I'm captivated.  With the exception of maybe...intercourse...kissing is about the most intimate thing I can imagine. And I'm not speaking of the sloppy, wet, full mouth kiss necessarily.  

The word kiss here is "Nashaq" which, more than intimacy, speaks of homage. These ones, preserved and protected have not only kept from serving the spirit of the age, but have not honored it with an intimate expression.  They're regard is both physical and emotional.  

The message to me is this...in the same way that they stood for God in a depraved generation, I believe I am called to stand, but here's where it becomes personal...

If these 7000 did not "kiss the Baal", then I believe the reverse is true. By not kissing the Baal, they were actually kissing God.  How many times in our culture have I had the opportunity to not only stand for what I believe but show my adamant love for God?  I have stood many times, quietly out of obedience to honor God concerning moral issues in my generation.  Like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, I have determined to make a stand.  

But my call is deeper.  I believe God is calling me to an outward expression of love.  And I think this is demonstrated through my emotions too.  I have the opportunity to express my love for Jesus and "Kiss the Son" (Psalm 2:12).  

So let me be counted with the ones who would be marked for righteousness, but also let me be marked as one who is radically in love with the One!  Let me serve him with ALL that I am and kiss him with the kisses of my mouth.  

I will love him with my heart, soul, mind and strength!  

...our battle

http://youtu.be/e6uSLUnfna8

My heart and soul are very stirred yet again today...

Where is this Warrior Bride?  Where is this one who is so marked by love, innocence, purity and kindness?

Answer...she is still in training.  She is the Snow White character (Kristen Stewart) from the movie.  She is being raised up through hardship: locked in a tower, bitterly chided, walking the road less traveled, facing adversity, having to learn forgiveness, tenderness, compassion, purity, and love in her journey toward intimacy and identity.  She doesn't yet know that she is the love-sick, warrior bride.  But identity is beginning to settle over her.

And all the heartaches and hardships are beginning to reveal a beauty that could only come from perseverance and brokenness.

What is the TRUE response of our heart, as created in the image of the Invisible?  LOVE!!!

As intolerance rages against intolerance, LOVE will overcome.  The tender and compassionate stare of the Bride will set things right.  The kind touch of love (that looks to the heart and is not offended by the sin of another) will set things right.

Love will set things right!

Broken and Beautiful

Broken and Beautiful

...porn kills

...the mind!

I don't know many who would deal directly and honestly with the main downfall in the lives of Christian men today. There is a battle taking place in the mind. And since we don't talk about it directly, it becomes our own private battle, destructive and plaguing. I believe the battle is toward purity. Men are bombarded daily with pictures that could potently defile the eyes.

For those who deal with exposure to pornography, it can feel especially hopeless when you are trying to walk worthy of a calling to love the Lord with all your heart, soul and mind. I believe it is a battle that takes place in the mind...played out behind the eyes and has the potential to keep us isolated and feeling stranded. But we are not alone.

The Holy Spirit of God is the one who dwells within us, giving us strength, and we have an Abba Father who knows all about us and loves us completely, Psalm 103 and 139. Our place as a believer is one of Sonship.  And He takes great delight in us, and from that place of Sonship, we can know that we are first of all LOVED!  From that place of love, we run to the Father and not away.  And the One who knows us better than we know ourselves, loves us with an Everlasting Love.  Love is who He is, and He cannot go against His nature!

So there remains one last detail...talking about it. I think as men, we must talk about it openly, vulnerably, and freely. We must find ourselves living out what takes place behind the veil of our eyes with one another. I believe it's here where we will not only encourage one another but find grace to help each other in our time of need.  I would encourage you to take the risk.  Find someone you trust and allow them to hear, see and be a friend.  Who knows, they may be waiting to have someone be real with them too!

Jesus said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your........mind.  This is the first and great commandment."  (Matthew 22:37, 38 NKJV)
"But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them,  because they are spiritually discerned. But he who is spiritual judges all things, yet he himself is rightly judged by no one. For who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct Him? But we have the mind of Christ."  (1 Corinthians 2:14-16 NKJV)
"Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant,  and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross." (Philippians 2:5-8 NKJV)        
"He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?" (Micah 6:8 NKJV)
"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." (Romans 12:2 NKJV)
"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things."  (Philippians 4:8 NKJV)

...ardent sacrifice

This evening I returned to my barracks (I've been away for military duty) to 4 military guys watching the movie Red Tails.   I had never heard of it before tonight, but it looked pretty good to me!  The scene I walked in on was an air battle between the Ally forces and the enemy.  One airship had already been badly damaged and had turned around in retreat. It was under escort when it was attacked again by a Nazi plane.  One of the fighters was being chased aggressively when he saw his friend approach him from the front.  In an ardent act of valor, his friend told him to dive out of the way.  And when he did, the oncoming pilot began to engage the enemy.  He fiercely fired upon his foe, killing his enemy and in the process took direct fire, which fatally ended his own life.  The rest of the squadron watched in disbelief and shock as his aircraft, plummeted to earth, the pilot's life now expired.

This was such an amazing sacrifice of self to save his friends.  I had only meant to casually watch for a moment, when I walked up.  But was immediately drawn in when I watched this heroic scene.  And that's when I looked up and noticed two other men had also walked up and been drawn in.  They stood...quietly fixated.  Their fascination peaked as they heard the sounds of battle.  You could have heard a pin drop!   I was very struck by this!  Intrinsically, we are greatly moved by sacrifice.  We are grieved, relieved, caught off guard, etc... These men had been very moved by this temporal sacrifice.  But this is exactly what Jesus did for us.  But how would they know and be moved with great emotion?   There must be a power encounter within us, in order to stir and impact the ones around us.  The testimony of Jesus must radiate in all of us!  I must not only be a testimony of His love and sacrifice.  I must be ARDENT!  

"...always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body." 2 Corinthians 4:10 NKJV

Only the supernatural work of His Spirit makes this possible!  

"This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends." John 15:12, 13 NKJV

into the heart...

"One thing I have desired of the Lord,That will I seek...
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord,
And to inquire in His temple."
Psalm 27:4 (bold me)

This is our first and most necessary calling.  One Thing!

And this is where I seek to find myself....everyday...growing more in love with Jesus Chirst!  It's is from this place that I learn to love as I am loved and to gaze, behold and dwell with Him.  It changes me!

In Matthew 22:39, we are also called to love our neighbor as ourselves.  I don't know that I have ever rightly grasped this.  But grace and mercy lead me everyday by the hand to understand. 

Last week, I went to the premier of "Snow White and the Huntsman".  I felt compelled that I would have to see this when the teasers ran during the past few months.  And I would put in on my list of "must sees".  I could write a small book explaining how clearly the Biblical comparisons are as it deals with identity and destiny for the Bride...

...but let me share only one scene...

One the way to discovering her truest identity and step into destiny she is walking through the Dark Wood with the Huntsman, and they come across a bridge.  At the moment they try and cross the bridge, a troll jumps up at them and begins battling with the Huntsman.  The Huntsman, though powerful, brave and full of valor is not match for the mighty troll and is soon thrown unconscious across the creek.  And is quickly in danger of being smashed to death by the creature.  It is at this point that Snow does the only thing she can do.  She stands in the way of the creature and locks gaze with it; her life now threatened in it's path. 

At this point the troll lets out a terrrible roar, shaking her to the ground.  But she doesn't take her eyes off the creature.  Instead, her face softens as if there is something greater going on in her.  And as she gazes, it becomes apparent that she actually feels compassion for this creature that appears completely evil and malicious. 

It is at this moment that the Holy Spirit quickened to me that this is where the Bride of Christ is in her journey to destiny.  The Bride is at a place of understanging TRUE compassion, kindness and mercy.  To me it spoke volumes of love!  I believe that our culture is at a place of explosive hatred.  And at the forefront of this is the agenda for same sex rights.  The Church is having to face the hypocrasy that it has created over many generations as it has so causally reacted to infidelity in the church, divorce, abortion and more.  I am not poinitng a finger at the church.  Instead, I am evaluating my own heart and actions. 

Also, I am NOT pointing a finger at Homosexuals, or anyone else dealing with sexual issues.  But let me ask...if the Church of Jesus Christ is expected to dwell in a place of fierce love and burning desire for purity and wholeness before the Lord...how could we do anything less than follow His example?  I believe we are called to gaze wholeheartedly into the eyes of everyone that we percieve as vile or evil and have nothing but compassion and act out of selfless love.

I shared something on FB last evening that challenged me even as I wrote it.  I was speaking about what our response should be to someone who is gay.  And my point was, someone who has never known the love of the Savior and the depths to which we are so unconditionally loved, will only react with venom to a condemning even hypocrytical finger.  Here's what I posted,  "...and many times I didn't even understand how badly I had blown it until I understood how clean his blood made me."  Even now it blows me away.  Without the revelation of the Father's great love even some in the church will never understand what that means.  But for me, I am blown away by this AMAZING LOVE!!!

It was the church of Laodecia that was called to repent and turn to Jesus.  And I beleive this is the call over us in this generation. 
               "Because you say, ‘I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing’—and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked—I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed; and anoint your eyes with eye salve, that you may see. As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me."        Revelation 3:17-20

Holy Spirit, help me to have revelation of the far reaches of Jesus' love.  Chanllenge my paradigms and change my judgemental, frustrating spirit.  I want to do what Jesus does, see as He sees, speak what He speaks, feel what He feels and LOVE AS HE LOVES!!!

And behold, I make all things new...

Rev 21:5, Isaiah 43:19

These scriptures have been at the forefront of what God has been speaking to me in this season.  When I consider the things behind me now, I do not even have words to discribe the Amazing Grace that He, the Lord Almighty has poured out into my life. 

I humbly submit that I haven't always been in a place where I have submitted to the authority of God or His leadership.  And there are times now, where I still question to know all the pieces and how they fit, but I am encouraged to say, that I submit myself to His rule and reign.  My heart declares..."I need You" and "YES LORD!".

Today I humble myself ask that you would come and join Colleen and myself as we renew our vows as a response before God and men that He is Faithful and Good.  And that He makes all things NEW! 

Please watch the link below...as this represents God's theme over our lives and yours as believers. 

"Behold, the former things have come to pass, and new things, I declare; before they spring forth I tell you of them."  Isaiah 42:9

Thank you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Msw6Kgss-0

Kingdom Come!

The anatomy of our relationship when we pray....critical understanding...Supernatural through the natural!


"For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. ²⁰ For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; ²¹ because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. ²² For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. ²³ Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. ²⁴ For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees?²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance." Romans 8:19-24


"And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” Matthew 16:19


We cry out when we pray "...Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven."  But what are we really praying?  


I have become increasingly convinced that when we pray this and just as importantly, pray God's Word back to him that we are entering an element of Kingdom Authority unlike anything we have ever experienced.  We might take it lightly, because we truly do not understand the greatest significance of what we utter OR how seriously God takes it.  


I have been on a mini-quest to understand further what happens when lightning interacts through a storm.  And so far this is what I have discovered.  The link below spells is out in a brilliant way.

http://youtu.be/RLWIBrweSU8

Some of the terminology that applies is:


Stepped Leader- The first stage of lightning.  This is the originating electrical charge that bolts out of a cloud.  I believe this represents God.  2 Chronicles 16:9


Positive Streamer- This is the second stage of lightning that engages the first.  It is a positive charge that transfers from the earth to meet the Stepped Leader.  I  believe this represents Creation...more specifically humans. Romans 8:19


I believe that as we pray and begin to understand, even believe our destiny, that we become "a ground" for "The Stepped Leader" who is God Almighty.  As described in the footage above, "As the Stepped Leader gets closer to the earth, it has an extraordinary effect on objects on the ground."  WOW!


As we pray for the Kingdom of God to engage us on earth, we find that He has already been reaching out to us as we pray...and the result of this powerful union is a "blinding flash" in the Spirit.  


Those who are sensitive to the move of the Holy Spirit become aware of the phenomenon with increased maturity.  As we pray for His rule, reign and authority to come, we are essentially becoming "lightning rods" for His glory.  


As we pray...we will experience powerful encounter.  It is our destiny to experience this and see the plans and purposes of His heart, will and Kingdom come to earth.  


"For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him." 2 Chronicles 16:9  

The Return Stroke....

During this past week or so, I have witnessed some amazing displays of lightening. And in the midst of it I learned something that has truly blown me away!

http://youtu.be/myT0KftNt1Y

More to come!  Enjoy!

444 before...

I have been on a journey of understanding why I encounter the series 444, everywhere I go...and yep, I mean everywhere. I was searching for a gmail early this morning and typed the subject name to find this email and it was #444....uh-huh. I explained in an earlier blog how this happens frequently and gave many examples. And in my last entry, I posted a picture I took of a receipt that I had with the amount $4.44 and it was picture 444/444 on my iPhone....go figure.

As I searched the scripture and spent some time in quiet reflection, I began to have revelation into some of what this means.

Upon doing some research, I ended in the Old Testament book of Nehemiah.  And discovered that the wall project with the rebuilding of Jerusalem was completed around 444BC.  This was quite meaningful to me.

I have since felt impressed that this year 2012, is a year of significant Kingdom Authority in the church.  This is a year when there will be a positioning of persons within the Kingdom of God.  I believe that God is moving people strategically to be where they need to be "for such a time as this".  

It is during the reconstruction project of the Jerusalem wall that we see an amazing thing take place.  During the month of Nisan (the month of redemption...and also when the passover is celebrated) Nehemiah, the cup bearer to Artaxerxes, king of Babylon, was repositioned and sent to Jerusalem for the sole purpose of rebuilding the walls around Jerusalem.

Now as a governor for the project, he was responsible to see that this project get completed as correctly and expediently as possible.  In chapter 2:11, we see that this project was put on Nehemiah's heart by God's design.  And this project would take both great wisdom and skill, but there were several challenges that lay in wait for him.

1)  The people of the land were depressed and demoralized by their neighbors.  The remnant of Israel had been like outcasts and were in great trouble and disgrace.  chp 1:3

2) The walls had been torn down, stone by stone and the frames had been burnt up.  And with limited resources, the rebuild would require great creativity and skill. chp 1:3, chp 3

3) Time was against the people.   They were faced with opposition on 3 forces:  The Samaritans, The Ammonites, and The Arabs.  These ones ridiculed, tormented and attacked the Israelites whenever they could in an attempt to halt the reconstruction.  chp 2:19, chp 4

4) And in the midst of the project of wall restoration, he had to focus his energies on providing for the people.  chp 5

In each case, Nehemiah operated with wisdom:

-When faced with the troubled people, he assigned those to help govern and assist all who were in the land.  They were all tasked with serving and encouraging one another.  This was first addressed by immediately assessing the damage to the wall and assigning certain ones to building portions of the wall.

-With the torn down stones and frames, he immediately engaged all the Israelites in the area to come and work at rebuilding.

-To address the threat of the enemies of Israel, he stationed watchers 24/7 who would guard the wall and fitted each laborer with a weapon and a tool so they could fight or work as required.

-Lastly, he demonstrated wisdom in helping facilitate justice for the people.

I believe that the church is symbolically in this time frame when the "wall is being rebuilt" and authority is being restored to the body.  We are being positioned in a season where we are utterly dependent on God and must find ourselves working together to see the Kingdom Come and His Will Be Done.

I believe that just like in Nehemiah's day, we are seeing plans and strategies being revealed and we are being called to work and fight for the Kingdom.  And as we are placed and work together, we will see amazing things happen.

"Therefore I stationed some of the people behind the lowest points of the wall at the exposed places, posting them by families, with their swords, spears and bows. After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, “Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your families, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.” Nehemiah 4:13-14

All in all, when it was completed the wall rebuilding project took 52 days.  And through God's design, the wall and the people were restored.  I think this is the common theme between Genesis 4-Revelation 19.  We see the redemptive work of God to restore us to himself.  And I pray that during this season we may see things restored to us that we thought were lost.

a look back...for those who know...Hollow Man (a poem)

I really felt that I needed to post this poem from my past. This was written at a time when I was feeling the lowest and most distant I think I could have gone from the loving arms of my Savior. I pray and hope that this will reach some soul tonight. It is a sober and bleak poem, but one that defined how I felt at the time. I couldn't see it then, but Jesus was there, with me...in the darkest place.

There is hope in Christ for those wrestling with addiction, for those bound with sexual sin and sexual brokenness.  You may be crying out for help in the quiet place where no one else sees. There is One who sees your tears, feels your desperate cries and loves you with an everlasting love. He feels exactly what you feel and knows you at the deepest levels!

Hollow Man

And as I stare, longing yet empty handed still. 
I have desperately wanted the thing I dared not pursue,
The passion that I had so forcefully declined and the love that I was sure I did not deserve.
This shadow of heartache now falls; 
Slowly at first, creeping, quietly consuming every path it crosses.

Inclined to run, I cannot;
Paralysis has gripped every muscle, 
And I am hopeless to escape this consuming blot.
Eluded, robbed and feeling like a scorned lover,
I admit my own personal defeat.


I am helpless to fight anymore,
What I have been all along;
I clump in a pile and fade to a posture of release.
And as this tunnel of darkness surrounds me I feel hollow; 
Empty inside.
Devoid inside and out, 
I am simply a shell of a man.
Consumed now, I have become a thing, 
That I have been fearful to define; 
To feel...to accept...to love.

And I am lost, like a child in a wood!
I can longer tell if my eyes are open or closed; 
So real, this darkness has surrounded me. 
It is me!
I can feel it, wrapping its coldness around me, 
Touching my skin, filling each breath...making me one of it's own. Dark!
To the deepest part of me now it spills,
And I feel hopeless to fight any longer...
....I am a Hollow Man!

...the turning aside

So Moses said, “I must step aside and see this great thing, why the bush is not being burned up." The Lord saw him step aside and look. And God called to him from inside the bush, saying, "Moses, Moses!" Moses answered, "Here I am."Exodus 3:3-4.

God is ALWAYS speaking! It may be that He speaks with a whisper on the wind, like to Elijah or he may speak with an impression, through a memory, a book, a movie, a beautiful progression of chords on the piano. But He most assuredly speaks!

But do we listen?

Did it take 80 years for Moses to be in a place where he was willing to listen? Maybe. After he left Egypt he lived on the backside of the desert for 40 years. He had been a sheep herder for most of that time for his father-in-law. And I feel pretty sure that He had been to Mt. Horeb many times.

I feel like I am just getting to a place in life where I am beginning to feel like I have impressions from the Lord, and where I am sensing He is leading me, as I call out to Him. It is a truly wonderful thing!

Monday March 19th, I was abruptly awakened, for the second time in a month, but this time by the whining of coyotes near our house. After I had gone outside to make a racket to scare them away, I laid back down and looked at the time. It was 4:20am. (I had a 4:20am experience on Feb 27, 2012.) It was again, one of those moments when I was sure God was speaking to me. And just then, I suddenly remembered that just before I was awakened, that I had been dreaming.

In this dream, I was looking at a map of Brazil. I stood over a small table as the map laid open in front of me. I was busy studying the map...plotting a course. On the map was a label "A" and "B". I somehow knew that I was trying to get from point "A" to "B". I realized that dense rain forest lay between the two locations...and as I stood pondering, that's when I was awakened.

I rolled over in my bed and began to pray. I asked God to give me understanding as to what was happening. And that's when it happened. The words "And he turned aside." popped into my mind. This reminded me of Moses in his wilderness experience, so I found myself reading Exodus 3 to try and gain some understanding.

And this is what I've concluded so far. God is always speaking...through experiences, relationships, events, and common everyday stuff. But too often we are too busy to notice. We have so occupied our lives that we hardly notice the time in between breakfast and dinner...and much less the time as we rest. And in our current age, we have so many preoccupations; FB, Twitter, TV, Movies, Texting, Xbox, Radio, Podcasts, etc... and we have become obsessively consumed with activity to the point of Narcissism. We have settled for a warm fuzzy that is seemingly enough to fill the void...and we become comfortable with a superficial relationship with God.

But I think God is calling us to deeper. I think He desires to engage us just like the child Samuel in the temple, Elijah the Prophet in the desert, Daniel in the Lion's Den, and Moses at the Burning Bush.

He loves us so much to continue to engage us at whatever level we choose to take...because He wants to be near us. He will choose to be near us in our fast-paced, fast food lives and is looking for the moment...the moment when He can catch our attention. He is looking for the opportunity to distract us in such a way that we say, "What's this amazing thing...."

And in that Holy moment, when we TURN aside, I believe He will be right there, noticing and we will be stunned at that moment when He engages us at the heart level. It's pretty sweet!

Even now God, I turn aside, quiet my heart, and look to you. I wait for you to engage me...here...now! Come!

James 4:8 "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you."

...when a whisper roars

My wife and I were at a concert the other night in downtown Wichita. During the event, the singer/songwriter/conductor asked if anyone had heard of the "Butterfly Effect". I had to admit that in essence I had heard of this, but knew nothing about the theory behind it.

So what is the Butterfly Effect, for those who may not know? Essentially, it is the idea that the brush of a butterfly's wing on one side of the world could bring about gigantic change on the other side of the world.

Immediately, the Holy Spirit quickened to me that this is the same effect that is seen in the spirit when we pray the Lord's pray...."Your Kingdom Come, Your Will Be Done."

And that is pretty profound to me. The God of Heaven takes very seriously our prayer, even in the quiet moments to bring about Gigantic changes in the Earth.

It is an establishment of His Kingdom, His Government, His Lordship over all creation. And He chooses to partner with us to bring about these earth-shaking, powerful changes.

Now that is AMAZING!

...June 26, 2009

I had a random recall today that took me back to almost three years ago. I don't know really where this is going, but I recall how important this was at the time.

Do you remember where, when and what you were doing when you heard news that Michael Jackson had passed away? I was at home watching the news and the time stamp that marked my mind when the news broke was 3:15 pm. It was not anything momentous at the time, except to say that like the rest of the world, I was mesmerized.

In what seemed like a split second a mass of thoughts flooded my mind:

-this man had left an indelible mark on the world and across generations of listeners.

-his world was rocked by scandle as he was accursed of sexual activity with small children.

-he had such a troubled life that could not be resisted (like watching a train wreck happening).

....and so on.

And as I sat there with my rapid fire thoughts, I found myself judging and even condemning the man as if I had room to point. And at that same time, God dealt directly with my heart. I felt strongly impressed to look up John 3:15 (matching the time).

Well sure, that should be easy enough, right?!? I certainly was familiar with the passage of Nicodemus visiting Jesus at night and had memorized John 3:16 at an early age...but what was this about. So I grabbed my Bible and opened to the verse. What happened next both humbled me and cause me to call out for forgiveness. The verse reads:

"...that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:15 NKJV)

Wow...okay, now God had my attention. I was shocked! And immediately came an impression, "What is it to you if I choose to save Michael Jackson in the final moments?". And I became completely compelled to believe that in the final minutes of life that Jesus had interacted with Michael with such love and compassion as to have saved him. And that Michael, may have called out in his dying breath for God to save him.  I do not truly know, but Father God is a pretty big God.  

I'm still stunned when I think about it.

Jesus made it clear in scripture that it was the sick that needed him, not that he had come to call the unrighteousness to repentance...Luke 5:32. And as dramatically, Jesus interacted with a dying thief, while he hung on a cross and promised him life in paradise. Wow!

So what's my point? Simply this...

There are a lot of wounded people around us that need to know the light of His presence. And it could very well be that words, love, influence and relationship could be making it possible for us to impact someone else for eternity. It would be easy to judge and conclude what we see in the natural, but we might be surprised by what God hears and sees in the heart.

Thank you Father for grace!

...when expectation meets reality...

So where do you find yourself today? I have gone through a few challenges in the past 24 hours, past week, past month...mainly how do I respond to the HS when he is changing paradigms in my life. It's been tough, but good!

I feel like I've been in a season where Yahweh has been establishing his leadership in my life. It has been a time of allowing the HS to examine my heart, motives, loves and surrendering them to Him. It has been a time of burning up the wood, hay and stubble. I Corinthians 3 reveals some of what I'm talking about. "11 For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 Now if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, 13 each one’s work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one’s work, of what sort it is. 14 If anyone’s work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward. 15 If anyone’s work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire."

I don't know that I can communicate clearly the swell of emotions I feel in my heart...as I've said before...It's been tough, but good!

I described this to my friend Becca Potter awhile back, by saying that I feel like I've been in a season of "pregnancy" and that many times in the past I have failed to trust God at the HOW in my life. And that I felt, as I looked back, that those moments were like a "still birth". Becca presented a different perspective that surprised me when she said it. She wondered if those seasons were times that God has used to stretch me. To prepare me. Just like a woman's body changes to allow for the birth of a beautiful new baby. And in fact weren't still births at all.

And this has stayed with me...swirling just upon the surface of these hard times. And it has been a sweet reminder to me. I went on a fiery walk at midnight the other night as I was processing things with my wife, family and Abba. I was being stretched to what I felt was a breaking point. And as the walk ended about an hour later, I had a sweet revelation from the Lord. What do I want to hear from Him. What are the most important words that could rest so sweetly on my ears? I reflected on the parable of the talents. And prayed out that I may be found faithful to the Father with every aspect of my life. I want to be a wise one who will have loved Him completely! I want to find the secret treasures of His heart...the gold, silver and precious stones! I want to continue to wrestle with this "self" and allow Him to work in me, out of a place of weakness.

But most importantly...I long beyond all things to hear the words, "WELL DONE, GOOD AND FAITHFUL ONE!"

That would be an awesome reality!

...what do you see?

Spent some time this morning, just reading in the word and listening to worship music...and reflecting on the past month, season, and year.

The flower arrangement on the table stood out to me as I read Isaiah 42:3-4 (msg)....

"He won't brush aside the bruised and the hurt
and he won't disregard the small and insignificant,
but he'll steadily and firmly set things right.
He won't tire out and quit. He won't be stopped
until he's finished his work—to set things right on earth."

We all have different perspectives and each carry a very different view of life with us as we go about our daily lives. But this is what I immediately observed.

The flowers hadn't really stood out to me as anything other than a nice table setting, until I look more carefully. And what I saw was very different when I took the time to look and gave it my attention.

As I'm sure you are already aware...this beautiful arrangement is complete with broken and withered flowers.

This stirs me...with a mix of emotions. How is it that no one has cared for all the flowers in this vase? How is it that some of the flowers expired without care?

Well...as a man who has walked in a measure of sexual brokenness that left me feeling both rejected and feeling hopeless, this continues to stir me. The tenderness of the passage above washes over me, setting me on a path of knowing love in it's truest form. And as God restores an identity that is rooted and grounded in Him, it has been good.

But I still feel the dissatisfied call of my soul as I cry out for more Lord, more! There must be more. I would call it fullness...Being one with the One; feeling what He feels, going where he goes, seeing as He sees, and loving as He loves.

There are broken and bruised people all around us...some would seem to be already beyond hope. But I believe, for the one who is willing, Jesus will show us the bruised and hurt, the small and insignificant, and we will have a choice.

When we allow the HS to order our world, we will have the eyes to see and the love to love. To reach beyond ourselves and love these wounded ones.

Am I willing...are you?

dense like a forest...which is justlikecamping (I'll explain sometime)

"...and when He was seated His disciples came to Him. ² Then He opened His mouth and taught them..." Matt. 5:1-2

So far, I feel like I'm downloading Windows 8 or have the new iPad3, and they aren't even out yet, so that's saying a lot!

I have been convinced of one thing lately, and that is...I must KNOW Jesus Christ. And knowing involves interaction from me and him. So this is what he has been showing me this week. On Sunday I heard a message online from my good friend Timothy David Miller, speaking from Matthew 4. It was very good!

Well I didn't intentionally go there on Monday morning, but God took me there, when I was abruptly awakened at 4:20, when my German Shorthair proceeded to bound on me. She usually sleeps on the floor by the foot of the bed...but something had surprised her and I immediately found her standing on top of me. I noticed that she was obviously shaken when I got her off of me and onto the carpet. I glanced at my clock to see what time it was...4:20. Ugghh! I laid back down, but could not get back to sleep.

What was that about?

Like Samuel, I tried to go back to sleep, but to no avail...I couldn't shake it. I think an angel must have poked her, because I needed to get up for an encounter with God. So, instead of rolling over, I just laid there praying. And what came next was amazing to me. I had an impression to search 4:20 out in the Gospels. And that began to take me where I am today.

I will let you read it for yourself, but what stood out to me, and impacted me so clearly was Matt. 4:20. Meditating on Matthew 4 and 5 have now transfixed me.

In the context of Matthew 4, Jesus has a wilderness experience, a 40 day fast and a visit from the devil. And ends the chapter by calling out the disciples as he begins his ministry years. Then 5:1 happens. Mostly I have read past it so quickly that I've missed it, but have wondered before about one thought...so let me share...

"...and when He was seated His disciples came to Him. ² Then He opened His mouth and taught them..."

Of all phrases to put in there. Of course he was going to speak...that's one way we communicate. How else would he impart truth to them. And that's when it struck me. I guess he didn't have to. He is God. He could have done a number of things.

-He could have had ministry time and laid hands on them and they could have ROFL'd getting healed of junk in their lives.

-He could have written a letter and filled all in the blanks of their mundane living.

-He could have done some amazing miracle to wow and astonish them, convincing them He was the one to follow.

-He could have done like David and sang a beautiful ballad; imparting truth.

-He could make a divine moment for them all and open Heaven and let them know all the truths and mysteries of the universe.

..but for some reason he choose to sit and teach them. I know it is about relationship, but there's more. The first part of the verse says that after he was seated, that the disciples came to him. Now that's awesome!

So I see 2 major truths in this one line...

I COME and HE SPEAKS!

There's an awesome mystery in our willingness to come to him, in a posture of rest (sitting) that allows us to connect with the One who holds the Words of Wisdom, as He speaks truth into us. And that is precious to me.

God is speaking...do I hear his voice? I choose first to come and listen!

a mysterious 444

Here is one photo proof of the amazing 444 mystery. This was taken Friday Feb 17th, 2012...more to follow.

....so what's the significance of...

Deja Vu? Coincidence? Planets lined up? The Age of Aquarius? Probably not, but I just gotta know. I can't be the only one that experiences this stuff.

I have clearly been in a place of seeing, hearing, reading, experiencing, etc the numbers 444.

I will be out at the store and grab a box of something or whatever and the price is $4.44.
A movie will end and I look down at my iPhone to check the time and yep it's 4:44.
I will drive past a billboard and glace at it randomly and it promotes the address 444 ____.
I punch the clock from work, with a timestamp...4:44.
I wake up in the middle of the night to get a drink of water, 4:44.
I pay a bill for $4.44.
In 2012, my birthday was on the 4th day, and I turned 44. 444.
Today I watched a YouTube video that my friend Taylor Pool posted on FB and yep, you guessed it. It was 4.44 minutes long.

This "random" 444 has been happening a ton to me for about 4 years. (ha...you though I'd say 4 yrs, 4 months and 4 days....444...nope). It is the craziest series of numbers that I've ever experienced in my life.

And I simply shared about 8 different times that this has happened. But I would venture to say, it happens about 3-4 times a week. Maybe even 444 times to date...haha.

I know what I think God is saying to me through these encounters, but I'm wondering if others experience these same things. I don't place a lot of stock in numbers, I'm not going to go play the lotto, unless it's for 444 million :).

And except for a Biblical meaning, you know like the number 7 equating with perfection, Daniel and his prophetic dream, 666 and more from the book of Revelation, even Gideon and his 300 men, etc...I believe numbers are important to God, but I don't really try to develop a theology concerning them. And maybe my mind plays a little bit of a trick on me with the clock time. But I became convinced a long time ago that God was speaking to me. There was too much of a "coincidence" happening.

Anyone else find themselves in the same place? Numbers, colors, objects? I had a similar thing happen for years over a dime. I would find dimes, face up, in the most seemingly randomly, isolated places.

I believe strongly that God speaks to us all the time. He is intimately and intently involved in our lives. And probably one joy of his heart is to speak in mysteries and riddles. So back to my original thought.

When, where, and how is God speaking to you? He is still speaking!

...hates others...ouch...harsh!

Five years ago, I bought an album that has meant a lot to me. Ian Mcintosh, "Awakened". I believe the HS knew the impact that it would have on my life, especially the smolder of my heart. I have listened to this album more than I can count, but the lyrics jumped from the song into my soul yesterday...and the simple words pierced me. Was it the symbolism? Maybe some of that...as it was a cold and snowy evening and the fire in the fireplace warmed me. I believe it probably was timing. The HS ministered to me as the words rolled around in my mind and soaked down into the recesses of my heart. Let me share them with you. http://youtu.be/_evxigAcEJo

"The faintest touch from the One I long for
warms me like a hot fire on a cold Winter night

I am His and He is mine, I am His and He is mine
I am fully loved!

This is the One I long for, He gives me the reason to live
In His arms He holds me

I am His and He is mine, I am His and He is mine
I am fully loved!

You're all I need
There's no other love I know it's You."

I can see that the Father has had me on a journey of restoring the 1st Commandment, "You shall love the Lord your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength" in my life. As I think back, He has been bringing me through seasons of great repentance and restoration; teaching and training; fullness and thankfulness. I have seen my heart grow and endure the battles of living behind my eyes. And deep love is being restored...to the places that seemed dead, lifeless and beyond hope.

And now, I have been coming face to face with the 2nd Commandment...relationship with others. And it terrifies me! "Love others as yourself." WOW...cool stuff, but like a toddler just introduced to strained peas...I'm grimacing and gagging just a bit. Only because, I am discovering that I really don't do relationship well. I'm trying to remember, but did that get checked on my Elementary report card "Plays well with others"?

Inevitably, I am sure that somehow, as I say "Yes" to God, that He will place me in situations that will grow and stretch me.

I John 4:20-20 (Message) says, "If anyone boasts, "I love God," and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won't love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can't see? The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You've got to love both."

But I don't hate...right?!? Well, that's something I am working out with the HS, as He deals with my heart. What challenges me is this: How can I love God (rightly) when I can't see Him, and not love others, whom I see in the natural. I interact with them in so many ways: attend church, work, drive by, eat next to, speak with, and so on...but somehow the value is lost. This is not where I want to be.

Misty Edwards sings about the inside, outside, upside-down kingdom. The Kingdom of God...where I pray His will and purpose be done on Earth, as in Heaven. Well...here it is...His plan and purpose pulling me inside out.

Thank you, Father for fully loving me! I come, humbled and broken to you! Perfect me in love!