...June 26, 2009

I had a random recall today that took me back to almost three years ago. I don't know really where this is going, but I recall how important this was at the time.

Do you remember where, when and what you were doing when you heard news that Michael Jackson had passed away? I was at home watching the news and the time stamp that marked my mind when the news broke was 3:15 pm. It was not anything momentous at the time, except to say that like the rest of the world, I was mesmerized.

In what seemed like a split second a mass of thoughts flooded my mind:

-this man had left an indelible mark on the world and across generations of listeners.

-his world was rocked by scandle as he was accursed of sexual activity with small children.

-he had such a troubled life that could not be resisted (like watching a train wreck happening).

....and so on.

And as I sat there with my rapid fire thoughts, I found myself judging and even condemning the man as if I had room to point. And at that same time, God dealt directly with my heart. I felt strongly impressed to look up John 3:15 (matching the time).

Well sure, that should be easy enough, right?!? I certainly was familiar with the passage of Nicodemus visiting Jesus at night and had memorized John 3:16 at an early age...but what was this about. So I grabbed my Bible and opened to the verse. What happened next both humbled me and cause me to call out for forgiveness. The verse reads:

"...that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:15 NKJV)

Wow...okay, now God had my attention. I was shocked! And immediately came an impression, "What is it to you if I choose to save Michael Jackson in the final moments?". And I became completely compelled to believe that in the final minutes of life that Jesus had interacted with Michael with such love and compassion as to have saved him. And that Michael, may have called out in his dying breath for God to save him.  I do not truly know, but Father God is a pretty big God.  

I'm still stunned when I think about it.

Jesus made it clear in scripture that it was the sick that needed him, not that he had come to call the unrighteousness to repentance...Luke 5:32. And as dramatically, Jesus interacted with a dying thief, while he hung on a cross and promised him life in paradise. Wow!

So what's my point? Simply this...

There are a lot of wounded people around us that need to know the light of His presence. And it could very well be that words, love, influence and relationship could be making it possible for us to impact someone else for eternity. It would be easy to judge and conclude what we see in the natural, but we might be surprised by what God hears and sees in the heart.

Thank you Father for grace!

...when expectation meets reality...

So where do you find yourself today? I have gone through a few challenges in the past 24 hours, past week, past month...mainly how do I respond to the HS when he is changing paradigms in my life. It's been tough, but good!

I feel like I've been in a season where Yahweh has been establishing his leadership in my life. It has been a time of allowing the HS to examine my heart, motives, loves and surrendering them to Him. It has been a time of burning up the wood, hay and stubble. I Corinthians 3 reveals some of what I'm talking about. "11 For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 Now if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, 13 each one’s work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one’s work, of what sort it is. 14 If anyone’s work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward. 15 If anyone’s work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire."

I don't know that I can communicate clearly the swell of emotions I feel in my heart...as I've said before...It's been tough, but good!

I described this to my friend Becca Potter awhile back, by saying that I feel like I've been in a season of "pregnancy" and that many times in the past I have failed to trust God at the HOW in my life. And that I felt, as I looked back, that those moments were like a "still birth". Becca presented a different perspective that surprised me when she said it. She wondered if those seasons were times that God has used to stretch me. To prepare me. Just like a woman's body changes to allow for the birth of a beautiful new baby. And in fact weren't still births at all.

And this has stayed with me...swirling just upon the surface of these hard times. And it has been a sweet reminder to me. I went on a fiery walk at midnight the other night as I was processing things with my wife, family and Abba. I was being stretched to what I felt was a breaking point. And as the walk ended about an hour later, I had a sweet revelation from the Lord. What do I want to hear from Him. What are the most important words that could rest so sweetly on my ears? I reflected on the parable of the talents. And prayed out that I may be found faithful to the Father with every aspect of my life. I want to be a wise one who will have loved Him completely! I want to find the secret treasures of His heart...the gold, silver and precious stones! I want to continue to wrestle with this "self" and allow Him to work in me, out of a place of weakness.

But most importantly...I long beyond all things to hear the words, "WELL DONE, GOOD AND FAITHFUL ONE!"

That would be an awesome reality!

...what do you see?

Spent some time this morning, just reading in the word and listening to worship music...and reflecting on the past month, season, and year.

The flower arrangement on the table stood out to me as I read Isaiah 42:3-4 (msg)....

"He won't brush aside the bruised and the hurt
and he won't disregard the small and insignificant,
but he'll steadily and firmly set things right.
He won't tire out and quit. He won't be stopped
until he's finished his work—to set things right on earth."

We all have different perspectives and each carry a very different view of life with us as we go about our daily lives. But this is what I immediately observed.

The flowers hadn't really stood out to me as anything other than a nice table setting, until I look more carefully. And what I saw was very different when I took the time to look and gave it my attention.

As I'm sure you are already aware...this beautiful arrangement is complete with broken and withered flowers.

This stirs me...with a mix of emotions. How is it that no one has cared for all the flowers in this vase? How is it that some of the flowers expired without care?

Well...as a man who has walked in a measure of sexual brokenness that left me feeling both rejected and feeling hopeless, this continues to stir me. The tenderness of the passage above washes over me, setting me on a path of knowing love in it's truest form. And as God restores an identity that is rooted and grounded in Him, it has been good.

But I still feel the dissatisfied call of my soul as I cry out for more Lord, more! There must be more. I would call it fullness...Being one with the One; feeling what He feels, going where he goes, seeing as He sees, and loving as He loves.

There are broken and bruised people all around us...some would seem to be already beyond hope. But I believe, for the one who is willing, Jesus will show us the bruised and hurt, the small and insignificant, and we will have a choice.

When we allow the HS to order our world, we will have the eyes to see and the love to love. To reach beyond ourselves and love these wounded ones.

Am I willing...are you?