marked...

Joshua 5:9 "Today I (the Lord) have rolled away the reproach of Egypt..." at a place called Gilgal.

The battle is in our mind.

When I sat and watched the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy (like all 12 hours, uncut), many of the scenes spoke to me, some made me cringe, but none made me squirm as much as wishing Frodo had not gone into Shelob's (the giant spider) cave. The dark, menacing, web-encrusted cave was enough to make me slide around in my chair, like a elementary school-aged child on too much candy the day after Halloween. But the unseen, creepy spider (ugh...I hate spiders) waiting in the deep shadows to feast on his blood was almost too much for me to bear.

There are many of us today that walk with the Lord with the haunting memory of our disappointments, failures, shame and rejection and all that comes with it. It ends up being a pretty complex pattern that can inhibit growth and keep us alone and isolated.

My personal failures have certainly caused me a great deal of shame and disgrace. And as I've made my own Exodus out of captivity, I have at times, felt like I have wondered in the desert for 40 years. For me it has felt like a "two steps forward and one step back" kind of journey. But that has been changing. As the Holy Spirit, has been graciously leading me out of my chains and into the light of His freedom and deliverance, I have been increasingly aware of the traps and distractions around me.

I can honestly say that I still have moments where I feel dragged back into discouragement and depression, but God's grace is more evident in my life, than when I first began. Notice, I said more evident, not greater. I believe His grace is constant and full and I am seeing the greater horizon of it.

I was reading today in Joshua 5 and two things immediately stood out to me. In verse 9, we see God declaring that the reproach (disgrace and shame) of Egypt was no more. It was rolled away. And Joshua named the place Gilgal or "rolled away", as a reminder to all of the people. But if you read verses 1-8, you see that the men of Israel experienced the mark of God on their lives through circumcision. An entire generation in the desert had traveled from point A-B, knowing that Jehovah was God, He delivered them from slavery in Egypt, gave them the 10 commandments, provided for them in a dry and thirsty land, BUT not one male child held the mark of covenant with God.

That's pretty amazing to me! In this passage we see that God is calling an entire generation to the physical act of being set aside, marked and called. And what's more...they are in a place of weakness, because just days before, they crossed the Jordan river and are now in the enemies territory.

So what does this mean for me or you? Well, I would say that I believe that the HS is bringing believers into a place of complete weakness and having no confidence in themselves. And in that moment, He comes to circumcise our hearts, which is extremely painful and uncomfortable. Honestly, I hate it! It's painful for me to come face to face with these things in me.

And as we recover and find that place of rest before Him, He proclaims that the past is washed away. All the shame, failures, inadequacy, etc...gone, rolled away. It is our Gilgal. And that is when we learn to walk out our weakness and find Him strong, faithful and victorious in our life.

It's been painful to deal with these things in my life God, but oh I so desire to be full of You...consecrated, set aside. Fulfill the plans and purposes you have for me. Amen!