"I cling to Your testimonies; O LORD, do not put me to shame!
I will run the course of Your commandments, for You shall enlarge my heart.
Teach me, O LORD, the way of Your statutes, and I shall keep it to the end.
Give me understanding, and I shall keep Your law; indeed, I shall observe it with my whole heart.
Make me walk in the path of Your commandments, for I delight in them.
Incline my heart to Your testimonies, and not to covetousness.
Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things, and revive me in Your way.
Establish Your word to Your servant, who is devoted to fearing You.
Turn away my reproach which I dread, for Your judgments are good.
Behold, I long for Your precepts; revive me in Your righteousness
-Psalm 119: 31-40
So here it is the 6th day of Jan 2012…
As I neared the end of 2011, I can honestly say that I felt deep down that 2012 is a pivotal year. I also felt that I'm being drawn into a season of pushing out into the “deep”. So what does that look like?
A few years ago, I had a very profound dream that has stuck with me. I was in the deepest part of the sea, where the water is black and most intimidating. I was floating in the sea with small white-capped waves stirring all around me. I wasn't necessarily in a place of panic, but I was out of my comfort zone. I could literally feel the cold of the water and I was certainly in no position to stabilize myself or feel secure. I also remember thinking that I was in a place where this sea was at its deepest and I could certainly see no land. The words that came to mind as I laid there treading water was..."deep calls out to deep."
And that's where I find myself today...I am out of my comfort zone. I am face to face with some mindsets that have shaped my thinking, some habits or lifestyle choices that leave me wondering if they are what God has for my life. I also have the challenge of paradigm shifts that cause me to wonder what God is up to. I have also been in a season of confession and repentance.
As I consider all these things, I begin to feel overwhelmed. But here's what has happened. When I began to sift through all this with journaling and prayer, I cried out to God and asked him to order my life. And the Spirit of God came...
I felt him take me and calm me and simply say, "Behold!". Immediately Psalm 27:4 came to mind. And I actually received a measure of understanding.
It is God who will work it all out, in His way, in His plan, in His time.
So where will you find me this year?
...at the feet of Jesus (maybe a little wind-blown at times), but nonetheless, that's the place I must remain, abiding, waiting...BEHOLDING!
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